One of the hardest things to deal with being arrested was facing the people that had been a part of my life for almost 8 years. It was embarrassing to have to face them, but I refused to show weakness. I was very remorseful for what I had done. And I indeed was sorry for the hurt that I had caused. I had put some of my best friends in some really bad positions. Not only were some of my best friends with me that night, but some of them were now in charge of heading up the investigation against me.I never showed a tear to anyone except Joe Perry who was a Lieutenant with the Internal Affairs Division. Joe was more than a friend he was like a big brother. As I sat in the Chief Inspectors office he told me "The Sheriff doesn't think you should be employed with the department anymore". Those words hit me like a rock and I remember my ears ringing like I had just been punched in the side of the head. As I exited the office I walked to where Joe was at sitting at his desk in his office. I walked in and he stood up and I turned around to close the door to his office. When I turned around to face Joe I hysterically started crying. Joe walked up to me and just gave me a hug as I cried on his shoulder.
After I had calmed down and gathered myself I sat there in a chair just asking Joe what I was going to do? All I could think about was my little girl and how was I going to pay for the things that I had, my house, my car, everything. When I walked out of there that day I had no clue, I had no faith, I had nothing. I had never felt more alone in my life up to that point. Everyone that I passed didn't acknowledge me or say hi as I passed by. It was if they were afraid to speak with me or be caught by someone of authority speaking with me. One thing that I learned through this incident is you find out who your true friends are when you get in a bind. I was strapped for money, and was down to my last pay check coming, but the bills don't care. Tim Eason who was and is still a good friend of mine was nice enough to give me the money I needed to pay off my lawyer. They had told me when I left the office that day that I had two weeks left until I resigned and they wanted me in CID those two weeks. I had some cases I had to finish up and close out before I left.
The next day I walked into the office and Norbett Whorley who was a Detective saw me walk in. With tears in his eyes he walked up to me and I couldn't tell if he was going to hit me or hug me. Fortunately he hugged me and just told me he was mad at me and he loved me. I never will forget that. I closed my cases and hung out in the office for the next two weeks. I was also job searching, but nobody wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn't even get a job as a car salesman as I tried to do that. In the evenings while I sat at home I would watch my little girl run around the house as if nothing was wrong. I thought oh too be 2 years old again. I drank when I could just to take my mind off of the situation, but looking back it made it worse.
The day arrived for me to resign, I showed up in the afternoon with my resignation letter. I was met by the colonel and not the Sheriff as I thought I would. As we sat in the meeting room a member of internal affairs was there with us also Sgt. Haines. Col Hagaman walked into the meeting room and I stood to shake his hand. When he shook my hand he didn't look me in the face. Where I'm from if you shake a mans hand and you don't look him in the face it's not sincere. I didn't say anything though I just sat back down. When we started talking Colonel Hagaman spoke about the situation that I had done. I turned in my letter and everything was read and done.
When the recorder was shut off Hagaman told me that they didn't want to get rid of me but they had to because of the election coming up and others recently lost their jobs because of alcohol problems and they didn't want law suites. I sat in disbelief to what I was hearing that I was being told that the department was getting rid of me for political reasons. I sat there staring down the table and then said "please tell me your getting rid of me for what I did, not because of politics" I looked at Haines and said it again " please tell me your getting rid of me for what I did" Haines looked at me and said "we are". As Hagaman walked around the table I stuck my hand out for his to shake. He shook it and again looked down. I looked at Haines and said "you would think a man with his authority would look you in the face when he shook your hand". Haines closed his eyes and shook his head in die belief that I just said that.
Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason.
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